Do NOT Apologize 

Do NOT ApologizeWhat happens when your perspective, opinion or truth is seen as offensive? What happens when people want an apology? Do you conform, do you become defensive, or do you shrink and suddenly start scrambling for forgiveness? Do you allow yourself to be manipulated or made to feel guilty for speaking your truth? Do you change the story and start back pedalling?  

When your truth, or your perspective threaten someone else’s perspective it may trigger a fight response in them. Most people do not want their perspective challenged. And when it comes to a change in culture, or a historical way of doing things it will be viewed even more as a threat. When it is NOT a threat. It is simply a different perspective, a different way of viewing things, a different priority of values, it is thinking outside the box. But thinking outside the box is not always encouraged.

I recently had a situation where this occurred for myself. Normally in a scenario where I was challenged, I would crumble. I may cry, I may ask for forgiveness, and a way to make things all better. Have you ever been in that position? When you make a statement that you believe in, but the minute it offends someone, or upsets them you scramble to make it all better?  

This time that did not happen, this time I stood firm in my beliefs, I remained calm and realized that their offense was not my problem. That their reaction to my opinions was not my problem. I am sure they were expecting an apology and maybe a retraction for what triggered this response in people, but I knew in my heart that what I did served a higher purpose. When confronted about the issue, I didn’t feel defensive, I didn’t even feel threatened I simply felt grounded in my beliefs. It was a very empowering moment for me. I was able to explain my perspective, and although I am not sure if they were able to see it that way, I really didn’t feel a need for validation from them.  

If you really want to stay true to yourself. If you have beliefs that are challenged, but are not meant to hurt anyone. If you feel the need to be set apart, to be different, to change things for the better. You must be prepared to offend some, and be prepared to NOT APOLOGIZE. You have nothing to apologize for. Break the mold, jump out of the box and be free!

Common Questions…

Two of the most common
Questions I am asked about the nutritional system I use..

“So do you have to do it forever?” & “so if I stop will the results go away?” 

First off NO you do not have to do it forever, BUT if you stop, than you need to put the effort into eating healthy meals that replicate what was in the shakes. Will you be able to commit to that? Personally I am lazy and I know that I would not be willing to put the effort into cooking and prepping meals that have equivalent nutritional value. So I realize the value of having something nutritious, and convenient that allows me the ability to be consistent.

To the second question, I can’t help but get irritated. I am sorry, but honestly of course results won’t last if you don’t continue to make healthy choices. You can’t go to the gym for 3 months and then stop and expect the results to last the rest of your life. You can’t eat healthy for a month, and then revert back to poor choices and not expect your body, moods and energy levels to not return to their previous state.

Living a healthy lifestyle requires consistent, daily habits. It means valuing your body and health enough to remain consistent. It doesn’t mean that you are deprived, starving, or tired. It doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in the occasional dessert, pizza, glass of wine or beer, or even a few of them. It is about changing your mindset about your body, health and soul.  

I just ate some Reese peanut butter cupsJ but you know what… I have also been making a conscience effort to drink more water, had my morning shake on the way to work, at morning break I had 2 hardboiled eggs & oatmeal, for lunch I had a tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread, and I had my daily dose of adaptogens to help combat stress. I know that I will be having Chinese food for dinner tonight with my family, but that I will still find time to do my 22 push ups. I have taken a few minutes to read scripture, look at positive affirmations and have a meaningful conversation with a close friends. I have not beaten myself up about my crazy hair, the chocolate I ate, or dwelled on the fact that I am eating an unhealthy meal tonight. Because I know that one meal won’t ruin my results, and I know that tomorrow I have a simple system to fall back into. I refuse to fall into the trap of being “all or nothing” because too many people pressure themselves to be “all” only to make one mistake, and decide that it is easier to be “nothing” . You do have the power to create healthy habits, you do have the ability to control what goes into your body, and you do have the power to control your thoughts. You have the ability to transform your life, but first you must want it and secondly you must BELIEVE IT! It will take small, daily commitments, but if you remain consistent and persistent than you will get there. Believe me YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

RANT OVER


 

 

 

 

From Struggling to Striving & Thriving…

One step at a time… 

I’ve been spending some time reflecting on the past 18 months. Reminding myself of how far I have come, from that exhausted, overwhelmed mom. Who lived for nap time and bedtime, and was up an average of 5 times a night with her babies. I remember drinking 4-5 coffees to get through my day, not eating anything until noon, and then when I had the opportunity to sit down and eat, I always chose sleep. So instead of feeding my body something nutritious I would eat a granola bar as fast as possible so that I could nap. But as emotional as I get thinking about that time, thinking about how much easier it could have been if I knew then what I know now, I am so grateful for that struggle. There is some guilt and shame around admitting that having a baby wasn’t this magical moment for me. That although I loved my baby with all of my heart, I was not prepared for what it would do to my lifestyle, body and self-confidence. And many people would never know that looking at Facebook, or seeing me out at playgroups or the park with my boys. Even my husband doesn’t seem to realize what I was going through.  

So what snapped me out of that dark place? How have I become the open, positive, encouraging person that I am today?

AWKNOWLEDGE- I acknowledged my reality. I realized that it was me who needed to change, and not my circumstances. I also acknowledged that I needed help. Help with my nutrition, and help with my mentality and moods.

AWARENESS- I became more aware of what my thoughts were, and slowly began replacing them with more positive thoughts. Some mornings I would wake up to one of my kids crying at 4am and my first thought of the day would be “F I hate being a mom” I know that is harsh, but it is true. I became aware of my bitterness, resentment and frustrations and started working through them.  

ACTION- I took action. I reached out to a friend who had started a nutritional cleansing system, and took a chance on it. It was an investment, especially since I was on maternity leave. But I was at a point where I knew I wasn’t taking care of my health, and I needed something that was convenient and nutrient dense. Within a few days, I started feeling like myself again, and the role of being a mother to two young kids wasn’t as overwhelming. It was worth every penny, and a year and a half later I am still using and loving the system. I started finding joy in my day and focusing on that. I began drinking more water and less coffee. I started a squat challenge. My struggle was that I always have had an all or nothing personality, so I had to actively celebrate my little victories and not sabotage them. Thoughts like “well you could have done more than 30 squats, or that isn’t enough to change anything” would constantly haunt me, but I literally told myself to stuff it! Something is better than nothing!!!

I also saw a counsellor through my employee assistance program, which helped me work out some of the difficulties I was having.

SELF COMPASSION- I started to forgive myself, to be kind to myself, and to pour love into myself. I forgave myself for all the hard days and moments. I forgave myself for not being able to do it all. I started using positive affirmations about myself and my life. It is impossible for us to pour out kindness, compassion, and patience onto our children if our cup is empty. 

 PRAYER- I began to pray for love, for strength, for courage, for patience, and gentleness. I began to thank God for all the amazing things in my life. I began to focus more on God’s love, and less on getting my sense of worth from the people around me or how much I accomplished. I am so grateful that I had my faith to turn to during this time. Because Jesus didn’t come so that we could have a religion, he came so that we could have a relationship with him, and learn to love like he does. There is so much peace in coming to a place of surrender. When we realize that we are worthy of love for simply being, and not based on what we are doing or how much we accomplish.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. -1 John 4:16


My hope is that someone else will read this who is going through a similar situation. That someone else will relate and be encouraged to reach out and ask for help, and start taking baby steps towards happiness. Because it is not normal to be exhausted, overwhelmed and disappointed in ourselves or our life. But there is a better way, and it takes practice and a willingness to put ourselves first. But it is so worth it!

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me, I proudly share my nutritional system and openly discuss my struggles🌟

#striving4health #strengthinweakness #bethechange #noshame #lovelife #youareworthit #yourfamilyisworthit #investinyourself #gratitude #prayer #meditate #loveyourself 

 

 

 

 

 

Staying Authentic

My initial thoughts were “my ears are sticking out” and “my forehead is so wrinkly!” I won’t be posting these on Facebook!

Then I started thinking about how I have been trying to spread a message about self love, self acceptance, being authentic and not being concerned about how people judge you.  That life isn’t about looking perfect.  I started thinking about how awesome the Spartan race was, and how much fun it was. And how I don’t care that it’s not the most flattering picture because I was in the moment and rocking it! 

So here is my perfectly imperfect picture! 


And here are a couple more! I am so grateful for my friends that joined me. Sharing the experience made it that much better! Thank you Ladies💕


#striving4health #believeinyourself #beyourself #selflove #keepingitreal #spartanrace2016 #expandyourcomfortzone 

Do it afraid 

I had the most amazing experience this weekend, attending my first Spartan Sprint race. For those of you who don’t know it’s a 5+km race with 15 obstacles, up and down a ski hill.  I signed up for it months ago by myself. Thankfully two other moms who love fitness, joined me. Always fun to do these things in a group. Especially when your only 5ft2 and there are 10ft walls involved lol. 


So I have been training for awhile, mostly focusing on grip strength and upper back. My biggest fear was the rope climb. Most women struggle with a lack of upper body strength and it takes time to build up those muscles. So I worked on pull ups and a variety of rows & focused on getting proper nutrients into my body to increase lean muscle and strength. And it paid off! I was able to climb to the top of the rope, with no knots😳 And the best part was that my kids were set up at that obstacle so they got to see mommy in action.  After that obstacle my adrenalin was pumping and mentally I felt unstoppable.  Part of me is actually ashamed at how proud I am of myself,and the negative self talk starts up. But I refuse to dull my excitement & my sense of accomplishment.

So the thing I contemplate is what makes some people push past their fears or comfort zones while others refuse to try something new?   Why are some people content to stay in their comfort zone even if they absolutely hate it?  There certainly is a physical reaction to pushing past that comfort zone, your heart rate increases, you may start sweating, your flight or fight instances go into high gear. But it’s your mental voice that can really stop you in your tracks. Things like “I can’t do that” or “I will look like an idiot” or “I’m too old for that” those things are all lies you tell yourself to avoid doing something new, or challengeing.  But the feeling you get after trying something new, after accomplishing something you weren’t sure you could do is so worth pushing past those thoughts and physical anxieties.  And if you fail it’s okay! Nobody is perfect at something the first time. And maybe it will take you a few attempts, but your building persistence, and character during those attempts.  It makes me sad when people stop believing in themselves and their dreams, because I know it didn’t happen overnight, it developed over time from their parents, peers, spouses, society and eventually themselves.  


If there are two things I am constantly learning it would be these…

1. We have the power to control our thoughts. We can choose which ones serve to nourish our minds, body and soul and we can refuse to entertain the ones that drain us, deter us, or bring us down


2. Comfort zones suck. Seriously you don’t need to go bungee jumping or do a Spartan race. It may be as simple as talking to someone you walk by everyday, or cutting your hair, because you like it short but someone told you once it looked masculine. There are numerous small and large ways to expand yourself and challenge yourself. 


Please feel free to comment, like or share if this resonated with you or someone you know. 

Striving4Health

10 Tips to Loving Yourself

So this past weekend a close family member mentioned to me that they sometimes skip by my Facebook posts because they are too positive, and it makes them feel bad about themselves. My intention is never to shame people into making changes or thinking that I am better than others. I was not offended at all, as she isa young beautiful mother and I can absolutely relate to how tough that time was for myself. As much as we love our babies it can be hard not to focus on how much our body  & life has altered, from added weight to permanent stretch marks, and all the pressures of trying to do what is best for our children, it is a very challenging time.  

After I had my son I struggled with a huge lack of confidence and large amounts of body shame. My tummy has stretch marks from one side to the other, as well as loose skin. It took time to grieve over the loss of my pre pregnancy body, and accept the fact that this was now my new body. I felt guilty for dwelling on this thing I saw as a major flaw, when I was blessed with such a healthy baby.  I was lucky in the fact that I got down to my post pregnancy weight fairly quickly. So how have I come to this place of positivity, gratitude and happiness?


Well it hasn’t been an easy , but it has been worth all the effort. True changes won’t come from hating yourself, but will come from realizing how important you are, and to start valuing yourself. So if you are beating yourself up, constantly focusing on your flaws, feel like you are incapable of being a truly happy person then I am here to tell you to STOP IT and that you are in control of your happiness. You can control how you talk to yourself and about yourself. It may not happen overnight but with consistent small changes, you will see great progress. And if someone else is making you feel inadequate then you have the right to set boundaries or remove yourself from their influence. 

Here are 10 Tips I have for Steps to Self-Love

1. Drink more water, add lemon or lime to it if you need to enhance the flavour

2. Nourish your body with healthy foods, when you aren’t getting proper nutrients it physically and mentally harder to be happy

3. Drink herbal teas

4. Start a gratitude journal

5. Do daily positive affirmations

6. Forgive yourself for days when you are tired, antisocial or grumpy

7. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful and strong. Be aware of that negative voice that may want to start pointing out the things you aren’t happy with and don’t entertain them

8. Take 5-10 minutes to do a guided meditation (recommend the headspace app)

9. Know that your worth doesn’t come from your to do list, your accomplishments, your physical appearance or what others opinions of you are

10. Do a squat challenge. They take a few minutes each day and gradually intensify. And be proud of those few minutes you are taking to strengthen your body

If you do one of these things celebrate it! I know that I use to struggle with this belief that “I had to do it all or nothing”. So when I couldn’t do it all or felt overwhelmed, then I would choose to stop trying and do nothing. I now challenge you to change that thought if you have it, to “Something is better than nothing” Your goal shouldn’t be perfection, but it should be for progress, balance, health and self-love.

 

I will leave you with this quote:

You are what you believe you are. There is nothing to do except be just what you are. You have the right to feel beautiful and enjoy it. You can honour your body and accept it as it is. You don’t need anyone to love you. Love comes from inside. It lives inside all of us and is always there, but with that wall of fog you don’t feel it. You can only perceive that beauty that lives outside when you feel the beauty that lives inside you” –Don Miguel Ruiz

 Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment, share or message me

-Jamie Lee

I’m on a journey to empower people to make lasting lifestyle changes, through self love & worth🌟💖

Striving4healthtoday@gmail.com

Fears of failure

My entire household is sick with a cold.  It never seems to fail just when I am getting my shit together with working out I get a cold. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself, I know it’s only a mild setback and I won’t let it derail me. Poor kiddos have constant boogers and aren’t sleeping the greatest. My head is pounding, my joints are aching and my nose is stuffed to the max, fun times.

On another note, I am sitting on the fence about doing a 16 week body challenge. It is something I have thought about doing since last January and I wish I had of.  But like everything I have a hard time committing and fear failure.  There are so many things I haven’t done, because I am afraid.  I always thought of myself as confident and bold enough to not go with the crowd, but over the years I have become insecure and complacent. I am no longer content to go through the motions of life, and simply get by day to day. I want to be bold and start reaching out to others.  Putting myself out there and not fearing rejection or failure. I have a passion for life that has not been shining through.

It’s time to stop being afraid and start living!

Who is with me?

   

Been awhile

Hey, I am ready to commit to blogging again!

Can’t believe it has been 5 months since my last post, wow does time fly.  Good news is that, I am still consistently striving to make more and more healthy choices.  I still start my day off with my shakes, which aren’t just your average protein shake it is a complete meal and loaded with vitamins, minerals and enzymes. Drinking lots of water and eating whole foods.

 I did a 5 km obstacle course at a ski hill for the cancer society, with some amazing women.  So much fun that I commited to do another one at the end of August! I did this one last year but from what I’ve heard it is suppose to be more difficult and more muddy with 18 obstacles.  I am lifting weights a couple times of work, focusing on increasing strength.  My goal is to one day be able to do pull ups unassisted.

I have been able to share some amazing products with people that mean a lot to me.  Other moms who are investing in themselves and need and love the convienent nutrition. I truly want to inspire others to take control of their health, lives, thoughts and actions!  It is so important to be positive, think positive and make some positive changes.  I can honestly say I have never once regretted investing in myself.  It is making me a happier wife, a more confident and capable mom and giving me something to look forward to.

Don’t get me wrong I still have tough days, when the kids are driving me batty.  Or I haven’t slept good and just can’t seem to snap out of it.  But those days are becoming fewer and fewer.

I have a few things that I do daily to keep me positive,

1. My Facebook fed is full of amazing women, groups, athletes and organizations that flood my fed with positive quotes, articles, recipes, workouts and devotionals.  I love looking and reading through them and saving the quotes to my phone.

2. I ask myself how can I bless ( make someone’s day better) my kids, husband, co-workers and/or stranger.  I try to stay open to the opportunity to make someone’s day a little brighter. 

1st week back

It has been awhile since I have blogged. Lots of changes for our family.  I am back to work full time and the kids are in daycare.  We have also had to temporarily move in with my parents, as we are relocating so that I can go back to work. So our house is on the market, and we are searching for a house that is between our work places.  Unfortunately, the market in the area where our house is situated is fairly slow and there are many houses listed, so the market is saturated. We are finding the opposite problem in the area we are looking.  Less houses and higher prices.  We also have a fairly substantial must have list, including privacy, a large garage or workshop, acreage, and a house that is not in need of lots of repair or updates with 3 bedrooms on the main level.   After living in a 2 up 2 down raised bungalow with young kids I would prefer not to do that again.  So for now the boys and I are at my parents and my hubby is back and forth between here and there.  Hopefully it sells soon.

I am very grateful that my parents are allowing us to crash here.  It’s not easy having your 30 year old and her 3 & 1 year old live in your house.  All my moms decorations have been put up or stored in the garage.  There are safety gates everywhere, and furniture rearranged to block the fireplace. The cupboards are full of my Nutritional cleansing super foods, and food for the kids. The little bar fridge is no longer for pops and beer, but is full of milk, juice boxes and yogurts.  Then you have my oldest son who is insanely attached to his “Grammy.”  And when he wakes at 12 or 3 in the morning he wants nothing to do with me. Even though we are sharing a bedroom and have our double beds less then 2 feet apart.  Nope he only wants his Grammy, and at 5:30 when he wakes up it’s the same.  I feel bad but at the same time unless she is ready to consistently tell him no and lock her door then I’m not fighting with him.

During this crazy time the one thing that has been easy to maintain is my superfood shakes. They have been a life saver.  I drink one on my way into work. The mornings are crazy with getting the boys up, dressed and fed there is no way I could have a healthy breakfast.  Then on the weekend I have a big breakfast, oatmeal and a 2 egg, plus egg white omlet, and the shake at lunch time.  My energy levels are higher then they have been in years.   I am really hoping my parents will start taking their health and nutrition more serious. They would both benefit greatly from these products.  All I can do is show them how easy and awesome the product is and what it’s done for me.

My workouts have suffered during this time, more due to the time change then anything. Once the time changed my rugrats wanted to go to bed later so I found it difficult to get motivated after 8:30pm.  I have worked out a few times, and I refuse to let myself feel guilty about not working out.  My nutrition is still great and working out will come once things settle down.

My first week back to work was great, minus having to take the kids to daycare.  My oldest cried a lot and repeated atleast 100 times that Grammy is his best friend. And the youngest definitely wasn’t impressed.  The lady said he was mad unless he was eatting. But I remind myself that their whole world has been changed. They went from being with mommy, Grammy or daddy all the time to being thrown in with a bunch of kids and strangers.  They are at a daycare facility so they aren’t even in the same room together. Now my 3 year old did go to the same daycare from age 1-2 and he loved it, after the first 3 weeks or so.  And I know that after the adjustment period they will really enjoy it.  It’s a great facility and the ladies that work there are awesome with the kids.  I’ve called everyday to check on them and they are always good once I leave.

Like I said, work has been great for me. There are definitely challenges, lots of different personalities and some very negative people.  It’s trying to find that balance between caring and not caring.  If you care too much you will become frustrated and discouraged with the company and environment,  but if you don’t care at all then that’s not good either. I just try to remain appreciative and positive.  I am also struggling with the gossip, it is very popular past time in our workplace.  And I am trying not to get sucked in to listening to it or spreading it myself.   It is not easy when it is just the normal thing to do at work.  I also don’t want to talk negative of others. And I have failed at this a few times, some people just rub me the wrong way.  It is an area that I am praying about and studying in the bible.  It won’t be an easy, but I feel like it’s something God is calling me to change.

“To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” -Titus 3:2

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”- Romans 12:2

Hurting people hurt people

For the past two day I have been dealing with chronic headaches, neck aches, jaw aches and a sore left shoulder.  This is nothing unsual as I have dealt with this for the past 13 years.  It has been better since eating cleaner, drinking my shakes, decreasing my caffeine consumption and increasing my water intake.  Exercise helps most of the time, but sometimes it seems to make the muscle tension worse.  For the most part I can deal with the pain and function as I normally would.  The one thing that does happen when I am in pain, is that my temper is very evident.  I can hold it together for so long, but then something small will set me off.  Unfortunately the receiving end of this is usually my kids or husband.  I always feel horrible afterwards and apologize for my harsh words and irrational behaviour, but I am getting sick of this feeling of guilt.  I don’t want my pain to negatively affect my kids and my relationships.  I don’t want my kids to grow up and one day talk about how mom always flew off the handle at the littlest thing.  There is something I read once that really struck me, and it was that hurting people hurt people.  They don’t mean to, but pain wether physical or emotional cause people to lash out. But for me it isn’t an excuse anymore, I have two precious and impressionable boys who need a gentle, and compassionate mom. A mom who is patient and joyful.  I don’t want them to grow up tippy toeing around mom, wondering if she is in a bad mood. And I don’t want my husband to dread coming home from work, because he never knows what mood I will be in.

I realize that right now is a difficult season for me.  I am dealing with a typical toddler and a 1 year old.  There are lots of laughs and smiles throughout the day, but there is also lots of whining, messes, crying, accidents, demands, tantrums, negotiations, manipulations and food on the floor.  I think it’s hard for all moms, and especially ones who are staying at home not to feel overwhelmed and frustrated.  It is part of motherhood.  For me it has shown me an area that needs lot of prayer.  So I will pray daily for Gods grace, strength and patience, and for Him to help me to tame my tongue and give me a spirit of self control.  This isn’t something that I will only pray once, but most likely multiple times a day.  I am grateful that I can go to God for help, and that I am in a place where I recognize that I need help and He is there for me.  He is there for everyone!

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control”-2Timothy 1:7

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” -Proverbs 29:11

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”-Proverbs 15:1

” But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”-2Corinthians 12:9